


Store Bought Desserts

by majorbisexualdisaster



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cousin Incest, Eloping, Family, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25256155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorbisexualdisaster/pseuds/majorbisexualdisaster
Summary: Jon and Robb have eloped and now they must face the music.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Robb Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	Store Bought Desserts

"Your mum is going to kill me," Jon said, running a hand through his hair. "She's going to chop my dick off and then she's going to kill me."

"Don't be an idiot, she's not going to kill you." The quiver in Robb's voice said he thought otherwise.

"Oh gods, I'm going to lose my dick."

Robb laughed and grabbed his hand. "Come on, let's get this over with."

Ladened with the store-bought desserts they were pretending were homemade, they walked up the steps to the Stark manor.

"Promise you'll love me even without my dick."

Robb planted a chaste kiss on his lips. "I promise. But, I think she'd probably try to carve your face off and kill you like that. I'm not sure she wants to look at your dick."

"Not making me feel any better, Stark," Jon grumbled.

The pair walked in, the cool air-conditioning washing over them. 

"Guys! Robb's—” Arya cut herself off and stared at the two men in front of her. "Gods, this— _Jon_ , you eloped with _Jon_? Our cousin Jon?"

"Suprise," Robb said, a weak smile on his face. "How much shit are we going to get?"

The question was never answered as the entire extended Stark household decided to flood the front hall. 

"Robb, darling, I thought you were bringing your wife?" 

"Um, husband actually," Jon said, his cheeks beginning to burn. "And he's right here."

Silence. A resounding, terrifying silence. 

"Somebody say something," Robb whispered, gripping his husband's hand tightly.

"Let's, uh, let's go into the livingroom."

After unloading their not-homemade desserts, Jon and Robb followed their family into the living room where everyone was waiting patiently.

"So, how long has this been going on for?" Lyanna ventured.

Everyone in the room was perfectly aware she was the only reason Catelyn wasn't freaking out yet.

"Um," Robb said, scratching the back of his neck. "Since we were, uh, since we were sixteen."

"Right, okay. And you're happy? You're both happy?” she asked.

Jon smiled. "Yeah, very."

She smiled at them. "Then I'm happy."

"Thanks Mum."

A pregnant silence, before Catelyn Stark said, "Robb, what the fuck?"

Everyone started at her, eyes wide, mouths open because Catelyn Stark _never_ swore.

"Mum, I love him and he loves me and I swear to the Old Gods and the New if you can't accept us I will march out that door right now."

Catelyn shook her head. "Sorry, I didn't—you're relationships aren't any of my business. What I meant to say was how could you not invite us to the wedding?"

"So you're not going to cut my dick off?"

And now everyone was staring at a blushing Jon.

"No, I'm not going to _do that._ But I will, of you ever hurt him."

"Yes ma'am."

Conversation began to flow and dinner went fairly smoothly. The most memorable part of the evening was not revealing Jon and Robb were now happily married, but rather the fact that no one seemed to notice the desserts were still in the store packaging.

Or, if they did, they didn't mention it.


End file.
